Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother As soon as he came on two million homes around Australia Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets
Within a week he’d won the house over They found him genuine passionate artistic kind And he made a divine pasta bake out of next to nothing
He cracked jokes for all ages and races He played the banjo and sang songs about freeing the refugees He got down on his knees
Within two weeks Mooks had brought out the urban robe Sandals were back in and kids were wearing halos to school
The TV ratings broke all the records More people watched Jesus than The Simpsons
And Friends and the news combined
He was on the cover of all the magazines And priests were constantly being hounded by reporters Wanting the dirt
Church attendances doubled then tripled People carried signs that said ‘John 3:16’
And ‘Jesus Is Sick!’
He was the talk of the school yard
The topic of the offices Jesus was the debate of all the panel shows Thousand of homes had flashing Christian crosses in their windows Bible sales reached biblical proportions Meanwhile Christians watched the media circus in awe
Just when it seemed that Jesus couldn’t be any more popular The remaining housemates began to plot against him For they knew he would win unless
They all agreed to nominate him
The biggest complaint made against Jesus
Was that he was too nice And a bit preachy
While it appeared that he had the hearts of all Australians on his side Jesus mysteriously gained the majority of votes and was evicted After leaving Big Brother Jesus refused all interviews Auctioned his possessions for charity And went into hiding
Viewers were devastated
Some kept their TV sets off for three days As a sign of respect
But then three weeks later Jesus returned
With his own controversial prime time TV show
Everybody Loves Jesus And it outrated Big Brother
Three to one
He then released a hit single
‘God Is In The Heart’ And my little sister
Knows all the words